


I am not Fighting Rats Jessica

by itismesee



Category: Daredevil (Comics), Daredevil (TV), The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Community: daredevilkink, Epic Friendship, Foggy is learning, Frank is a dad, Friendship, Gen, He cannot help it man, Magic, Matt Murdock Needs a Hug, Rats, Saltmates!, Sorry Luke was missing idk why, Swear rats man, They all love Matt, shitty magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-13 00:34:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20573522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itismesee/pseuds/itismesee
Summary: Matt gets hit with a learning age spell- It sucks but it helps in the end.Original prompt:Matt's hit with some kind of magic that makes his body shift to show how he's feeling emotionally. Perhaps it's some kind of alien diagnostic system to see how you are mentally.The others find Matt very rarely feels adult. As daredevil he's a teenager. Whenever he's scared or upset he shifts younger. When he's alone he's a small child (it reminds him of how he feels when his dad was working all the time). Outside of daredevil and court he's rarely older than twelve.When Foggy argues with him or makes to leave in a huff he shifts so young he can barely walk. Any tense conversation with Foggy and he shifts ten or younger.It forces the others to see how messed up Matt is, and how upset he is as he's unable to hide it. Matt meanwhile takes a while to understand the implications, instead of complaining he can never reach his shelves and no one will sell him alcohol.





	1. Jessica Jinxes Matt

Of fucking course, it’s Matt who is hit by the magic spell shit. 

Jessica really regrets bringing him in with a magic case, it’s like a cat and water honestly. But Matt is able to sense the guy even when the man is invisible. So that is her excuse. They are not even sure what the spell is going to do yet. Just that the Magic Man or whatever ridiculous name was able to sprinkle that fairy dust crap on Matt and chant while Matt was coughing the dust out of his lungs.

Frank hovered the whole way home like the mother hen he truly is so Jessica made herself useful, grabbing the vodka she keeps in Murdock’s freezer and calling Claire. Hey, it is multitasking! 

“What?” Jessica takes a sip from straight the bottle taking a deep breath, the feeling of fire slowly sinking into her gut before answering.

“Yeah, We might need a check-up for pretty boy? It was magic based but fuck if we know what it does. I’m calling Danny next for the magic bit- but could you come over to Murdock’s soonish?”

Claire let out an exasperated grunt and hangs up. Jessica thinks that means ‘I hate you all, yes I will be there ASAP’. Danny’s call goes better. He is very cherry and very wake and very excited even at this early in the morning. Jessica downed a few more shots as a reward for dealing with his shit.

“So how yah feeling you idiot?”, She flops herself down laying claim to the comfy chair next to the couch. Danny is not cuddling her tonight and it is best to be prepared with the barrier of the armchair.

She gets a vague shrug from Matt, not unusual. He isn’t much of a talker after night work especially if you are ‘focused’ on him. So no saltmate talks; Jessica takes another swig. 

Sometimes Matt had this strange thing, when he gets upset he would make himself smaller and it is like something would come over him. She watched for it now as Frank helped take off the awful red suit. It was a complicated slippery little shit- perfect for its wearer. 

He didn’t look like his normal salty self. He held himself tight, almost wrapping around himself and fidgety. He did look a bit smaller than usual and the suit slipped right off…

“Do you think it is a shrinking spell? You do look kinda smaller…”,Matt glared at her slightly off-target- ah it would never get old pulling on Matt’s pigtails.

“Don’t you dare jinx me, Jess.”

“What if you get so small and I step on you!? You are already the most breakable Murdock you can’t be the size of a match!”

She smiled taking another sip, pulling the drink away from Matt’s outstretched hand. 

“No, go away until you have been checked out. You know the rules!”

Matt huffed mumbling to himself as he settled more into the couch, “Fuck the rules”

Frank stifled a laugh and Jessica immediately perked up.

“What is it?”

She would swear that the punisher was giggling, pointing at his breast pocket, “What if he was pocket-sized?”

That was a perfect picture, a tiny little angry Matt sticking out of Frank’s pocket just yelling about how ‘it’s wrong to kill people Frank!’

“He would be our personal pocket lawyer- awww!”, and Matt threw a pillow in their general direction. Sloppy but she wasn’t going to worry about it.

Frank was doing his loud laugh now as he settled into the other side of the couch.

“Wait-Wait, What about a little devil on your shoulder?”, Sometimes Jessica forgot how good Frank was about this shit. Matt was tucking his face into the couch but he couldn’t hide how red he was as it was going all the way down his neck.

Jessica passed the bottle to Frank, “That won’t stop him from ‘protecting his city’! I can see him fighting rats- Sewer rats! Those terrible smelly things must be stopped!”, She fell back into her chair giggling. She might be drunk already.

“Why are we fighting sewer rats now?”, Danny said as he was just closing the door behind him.

“Jessica thinks it is a shrinking spell and that Matt’s new enemy will be the rats.”, Leave it to Frank to make things seem boring. 

“A noble cause!” 

Ugh, how is he always so damn cherry? Jessica avoided a hug by pushing Danny away with her feet, Frank glared and Matt was left alone to suffer Danny’s way-to-long-of-a-hug-buddy affection.

“So you ready?” Danny pulled up his sleeve- yeah go look like your getting ready to really fist him that will make Matt cooperate more. Jessica could not contain her eye roll. 

“Nope, don’t feel like it. Thanks though.” Matt proceeded to climb over the back of the couch. Frank tossed the vodka to Jess and she caught it -not a drop spilled so maybe not drunk just tipsy, as Frank got a grip on the back of Matt’s neck.

“Why you got to make this harder than it gotta be Red?”, Frank continued to grumble as he manhandled a very noticeably smaller Matt.

“Dude…are you smaller?”

Fuck she was right.

“I hate you Jess- you totally jinxed me”

She shrugged, “I shrugged- not like I put the spell on you that was magic dickwad. Now let Danny look you over and make sure you are not going to have to fight rats instead of the mob.”

Matt pushed Danny’s hand aside one last time before Jessica passed the bottle to him, “Come on tight Ass. One-shot for the road.”

After Matt gleefully took his shot Danny got all glowy and up in Matt’s face for a bit before taking a deep breath and sitting on the floor.

“Okay, so… it’s not a big spell?”, he started tilting his head to the side and holding up his rotating it side to side, “it might be a learning spell, but it isn’t tied to him exactly… so maybe it is connected to those close to him? Eh? I don’t know really. I’m no Dr. Strange.”

In unison, she and Matt gave a, “Thank fucking god “and “Thank fucking goodness”. She gave an eye roll for Matt’s Catholic ass. 

Strange was an entitled ass who stuck his hands on people’s brains without permission- bad manners and creepy as hell. Danny’s fist is bad enough.

“So basically, I don’t think you are in danger. Shit is most likely gonna get weird but we can either help you break it or let it slowly wear down.”

“How long would it take if we can’t break it?” Good job Frank a practical question.

Claire didn’t even bother knocking before coming in to slam the door behind her.

“Shush! I get your mad but I do have very innocent neighbors Claire.” The glare Matt received might have not been seen but it was felt if how he shrank into the couch was any indication.

“What did you say to me, Murdock?”

“Nothing”, oh Jessica felt a little bad for him after he tucked his head and knees to his chest. And..was he smaller?

“Yeah, that is what I thought. Now, what stupid thing did you do tonight?” 

Frank moved to grab Matt’s kit, shouting behind him. “Jess thinks it is a shrinking spell!”

After a second to Claire tilted her head, “hmmm… You are a bit smaller than usual huh? But you could also just have lost weight again.”

He stuck his tongue out at her. Oh, Matty, that is a poor come back saltmate.

Now armed with a medkit, Claire sat in the spot near Matt. She pulled his arm closer after taking a look at his face.

“Okay, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of powder left on your face and you don’t feel like you have trouble breathing?”, Matt shook his head, “Then I’m going to clean up these scrapes first, we don’t know what the powder is and you are not getting another infection. You whine too much when you’re on forced bed rest to take chances.” 

Jessica nodded along, Claire was right. He would whine the whole time and needed a babysitter and she just knew Foggy would ask her to do it and that meant getting up before 10. Not going to happen again, Murdock.

Claire pulled out an alcohol wipe and was just about to start cleaning Matt’s arm when he Visibly shrunk a few more inches. Okay, this is not gradual anymore. Abort! Abort! Matt was practically shaking.

“Jessica you totally gave this stupid spell ideas. I really would like to not have to fight rats.”

Claire was taking deep breaths and muttering, “Okay, fighting rats, shrinking Matt. Makes total sense, to be honest.”

Frank then decided to be a tattletale, “Maybe we should do check for a concussion before we can’t take proper vitals anymore?” Even Jessica wasn’t that mean to sick Claire on Matt for getting hit in the head again. 

“Matthew! Again? I swear you are going to- no you have to have brain damage by now.”, She started feeling his head for bumps.

“It would make the most sense wouldn’t it.”, aww Matty self-deprecation just makes us feel sad not laugh. 

“Funny. Now, what year is it?”

“2019, Do we have to do this? I’m fine.” Yeah your not Murdock, Jessica was seriously debating if she could get away with wrapping him in a blanket. 

“Sorry but maybe this will keep you from hitting your head on random walls because you decided to freestyle jump off a building. Now, what day is it?”

“...Thursday?”, Jessica was pretty sure everyone's heart had to jump. 

Matt swiveled his head, “So not Thursday, huh?”

“Friday night, Saturday morning. We took you away from your normal bar night because Nelson is out of town.” Frank looked like he wanted to wrap the idiot in a blanket too. Maybe if they did it together it wouldn’t look too silly.

She gave in a tossed the blanket that rested on her chair to drape over Matt covering his head just to annoy him. Matt shrunk again, and at first, Jessica thought he had disappeared but then a small pint-sized kid peeked his head out from the blanket.

“Shit Red.”

Matt turned to face Frank, “Yeah I get it. Getting smaller, gonna fight rats yada yada.”

“Yeah no Red, I don’t think this is a shrinking spell kid. You look like you are twelve?”

He really did, looked even younger when he wrapped the blanket around his shoulders huddling into the couch more. It was a full couch slouch- It was time for the big guns.

Claire was trying to put a blood pressure cuff on Matt when Jessica turned to Frank.

“So we need to call Nelson right?”, Frank was already pulling out his phone. 

Matt was batting away the cuff and moaning about not calling Foggy.

“Yeah sorry you're a minor now, you don’t get a vote. Now let Claire take vitals or Nelson gave me permission to pin you for basic medical shit.”

Matt went back to moaning but obeyed. So she listened to Frank’s conversation.

“It’s Frank. Matt is alive and- he says he is fine. Yeah I know- he isn’t like dying but...look can you just come home early by a few hours? Yeah now would be great. No, it… its… Ummm”

Jessica grabbed the phone, “Yeah he a kid now- yep a minor and you are in charge as next of kin- well I guess guardian now. Yeah, Claire is here, it's magic so we got Danny too. The shithead is in custody. Okay, I am sure he heard. See you.”

So Nelson was going to be on the next train, so they had to wait about two hours for adult supervision for little Matty.

It was quite for a little bit. Claire had basically cleared Matt and he was sulking.

He mumbled something between his interlocked arms on top of his knees.

“What is it, kid?”, Frank was completely in dad mode and Jessica was here for it if it made Matt do that face again.

“Not a kid.” Oh, that tone was gold! Why did she not have her phone out to record this again?

“Sorry, bud but you kinda are.” If looks could kill- it would kill the wall that Matt was looking at, as he overshot his gaze meant for Jessica. 

They waited mostly in silence, settling in for Nelson to come over and help brainstorm the next step.

Matt seemed to shift a little bigger or maybe he was just not shrinking anymore, Jessica wasn’t too sure but maybe he was older looking.

At some point Matt jerked up and started to go for the top shelf, climbing cabinets with his fancy ninja crap and pulled out a bottle tequila. That was where he hid it?! That bastard.

All four of them exchanged looks, as Matt fights with the cap to unscrew.

Danny’s wide eyes, ‘kid equals no booze right?’

Claire’s eyebrows go up in, ‘Do we let him?’

Frank’s brow furrows, ‘ It doesn't seem right, right?’

Jessica's head tilts her head, ‘Yeah, no we shouldn’t huh’

Frank swipes the bottle before Matt can tilt he head back for a drink, “Yeah I don’t think we can let you do that kid.”

Jessica held in a laugh as Matt stopped mid-stomp, “I...I’m an adult Frank.”

It was so fucking cute to see a tiny baby Matt stand-up to Frank, little fists on his hips face up and hard towards Frank’s giant exasperated frame.

Claire swooped in to help Frank who was also fighting to keep his composure, “We don’t know how much your body is changing. It is probably best to keep it safe for now.”

They eventually resume their old positions, Matt back on the couch sulking next to Claire, Frank pacing, Danny picking at the rug on the floor. Jessica watched it all play out on her chair safe from Danny’s cuddles.

Matt continued to grow over the course the hour and there was a brief discussion if the spell was reversing itself but Danny got another look with his fist and it seemed to be about the same- more like a reset. So much for an easy fix.  
Thankfully they didn’t need to wait for very long, Foggy burst in just a bit after an hour.

“Oh- I thought you guys said he was a minor?”

“Don’t have to seem so disappointed there Fogs.”

Nelson dropped his shit at the door before pulling Matt into a hug, “Yeah bud hate to tell you but college Matt and I have met. How are you feeling- let me guess fine?”

“This sucks. Jessica totally jinxed the spell and they won’t let me have a drink- please make them stop.” Matt mumbled into Nelson’s shoulder vibrating with new energy apparently.

Jessica decided she could stoop to Murdock’s level and stuck her tongue out before realizing he might not know that she was doing it. 

“Uh okay, Matty lets figure this out-”

“Fogs Danny said it wears off let's just go to work or I don’t know do something please”, Matt was bouncing on his heels still attached to Foggy.

Nelson’s eyes were growing wider and Matt continued to rant about moving on and just waiting it out and Jessica was pretty sure you could see the exact moment Nelson broke. She had heard about Matt’s manic college days but shit. 

“-And It can’t be too long right? and I feel fine so I’m pretty sure I’ll be fin-” Jessica was surprised he could talk that quickly and in a ‘happy’ tone that was completely fake. How long had this rant gone on? Nelson finally interrupted.

“Matt if you say fine one more time.”

“But Foggy I am Fin-”

“Matt sit your ass down. You always do this- this is not okay. WE are going- whoah buddy!”

Jessica blinked and Matt was way small again, younger than before. He had curled into himself pratically hugging himself.

“Sorry Foggy…”, Damn Nelson if you don’t hug the kid I’m gonna have to Jessica thought.

“Hey buddy, it's okay. I shouldn’t have yelled. Hug it out?”, It only took a moment before Nelson was practically carrying a small Matt that was smushing his face into Nelson’s chest.

“Didn’t want you to worry was all promise.” Oh, man Nelson there is no way you can fight that sad boy. Frank looked like he was about to kill Nelson for causing that amount of sad in such a small body.

Nelson sighed and shifted to sit down with Matt in his lap, “I hate to tell you bud but I am always going to worry about you, nothing you can do about it. It’s okay, we are gonna figure this out together.”

“Sorry, I’ll be better. Promise.” Yeah, Jessica is gonna need a new bottle to get through tonight maybe she could steal that tequila.

Nelson started to rock Matt back and forth, all those cousins gave him a lot of practice apparently.

“It's okay for things not to be okay Matty- it doesn't always have to be okay. I’m not mad, let's just see what is happening huh?”

So there was another round of vitals. Matt seemed more bored now, but not that cooperative still. He kept swinging his legs as Claire tried desperately to get a good blood pressure reading. Claire was gentle but obviously was done with his antics.

“Matt stop moving! Sweetie...there we go.” Matt had tears threatening to fall.

Fuck. Jessica was so done. Maybe this spell was making him a kid too? But she couldn’t get past that Matt just sometimes got like this on bad nights, just on a smaller frame.

“Okay, let's take a blood sample. Danny can you get your lab to run it for me?”, Danny started to make his call as Matt wiggled finally free of the blood pressure cuff. Claire was just able to hold Matt’s wrist so she could wipe another alcohol pad over his arm- damn woman how many do you have hidden away?

And Matt was even smaller and definitely was crying now. He was trying to burrow into Nelson's chest as far away from the needle as he could.

“No Needles. Please, I don’t want to-I don’t want to-”, He trailed out into barely heard sobs. Despite all his attempts Claire still hadn’t released his arm, trying to decide if she should just get it over with or if that would be too traumatic. 

“I know buddy needles suck, but you can do this. Just a little pinch and then we wait for just a min or two and all done. Think you can stay still for a couple of minutes? I know you can take a pinch!”, This despite Nelson’s soothing tone had the opposite effect. Claire no longer had an arm as it had been skillfully extracted from her grip and Matt was now doing his best to tuck himself behind Nelson. 

Good for him. Jessica hated needles too and she wasn’t going to stand for him being forced to do something- bullying him into it that was okay but holding him down was too much even if he was kind of a kid right now. Thankfully they didn’t seem to be trying to pull Matt out of his hiding spot for now.

Jessica knew she wasn’t the warm cuddly type so she was staying out of this, Danny was busy talking to the lab and was too much for Matt right now anyways, but Frank...he was a dad right? Despite all their bickering Matt never shied away from the friendly shoulder pats and horseplay...yeah this would work.

She pointed her finger at Frank as if to say, ‘YOU!’

Frank kind of raised his eyebrows, ‘What you want me for Girl?’

Jessica then proceeded to point at the crying mess that was Murdock.

An eye roll was produced and she did not appreciate him moving into her territory- she was the queen of eye-rolls.

“Frank just try- you had kids and those two are drowning right now in little Red tears.”

He might have scoffed at her but Frank also got up and made his way to pint-sized Murdock.

Claire and Nelson still desperately trying to sooth Matt startle as Frank holds out his arms and apparently struck dumb that the Punisher would even consider doing this.

Frank shook his hands and sighed, “Just hand him over.”

Nelson shrugged and slowly moved Matt from his side towards Frank, once Frank had his hands under Matt's armpits and lifted him into the air Matt latched right on to Frank like a monkey. Matt might be a little too big to be carried at this age, but it seemed to be helpful. He was still crying but wasn’t at the full-on silent scream anymore, more like extreme hiccups and sniffs.

Frank returned to his pacing, this time rocking Matt back and forth and humming a low tuneless song. After a few more minutes and Matt is rubbing his eyes mostly limp. Know one seems to want to break the silence so they just return to resting where they are for what seems like an hour but according to the digital clock Jessica can see on Matt’s bedside table is only really another ten minutes. 

It is Frank who breaks the silence, “He got smaller”.

Sure enough, the kid’s once long lanky frame had shortened, his legs no longer reaching towards Franks's knees now but more around his hips. 

“I’m not fighting rats.” 

There was a good round of laughter that lightened the atmosphere.

“This spell doesn’t make much sense”, Danny remarked as he unfolded his legs to stretch over them. There were mumbles of agreement. 

Jessica decided she would brave the potential Danny cuddles or stealing of her armchair to see if she could get Murdock to take the damn blood test. She dropped her empty bottle in the trash and walked up to Frank who was still pacing.

“So WE”, she looked around at everyone to make her point clear, “are not going to forcing you to until you are ready, so what can we do to help you get there Murdock?”

Matt's arms might be loose but were still around Frank’s neck, he tilted his head but shrugged after a few seconds.

Danny jumped up and Jessica was afraid she was losing her spot until he planted himself right next to her, bending slightly to keep his head at Matt’s eye level where he rested on Frank’s shoulder.

“I heard that it helps to see someone else do it then it is less scary! I can do it first!” Oh, Danny.

Matt started to honestly giggle like a sweet angel, “Danny!”

“What?” and Matt waved his hand in front of his eyes.

“oh, yeah…”, Danny started to rub the back of his neck.

“You Doof.” Darn, there was fondness in her voice, “Let's go through this and see what makes it too much. Step one another damn wipe. Any problems there?”

Matt makes a face, “Smells”

Yeah, it does, “Too smelly or just annoying?”

“Annoying.”

“Okay, step two wrap a rubber band around your arm...all good?”

Matt looked a little far away, Frank lifted his shoulder nugging Matt after a few seconds.

“Uhh yeah?”

“Step Three big pinch as the needle goes -”

“No.”

“Just no?”, Foggy softly asked. She hated feelings talks but darn was it helpful when you were on this side of them.

Apparently, Matt wasn’t fond of them either, but well-practiced because after a deep sigh that even had the big bad punisher rubbing Matt’s back he even gave a good response.

“It means blood... it's too much to smell it right now. Everything is just...loud. Big…”

If that wasn’t pitiful. 

“That is why you got us Red. You let us worry about everything okay? Whatever happens, we can clean up together. We’ll go slow, and then well just take time okay? I’ll even do that meditation crap with you.” Frank was in it deep. He punctuated his statement by resting his head on Matt’s head, rocking side to side.

Matt seemed to sink deeper, closing his eyes and clenching and unclenching a fist in Frank's shirt. It took another nug from Frank’s shoulder to get him to respond.

“Okay.”

It took quite a long time, Frank ended up having to help hold Matt’s arm still and while Matt didn’t cry again he was securely attached to Frank well after the ordeal ended.

“You were so good, kid.”, Frank had settled on the couch but still rocked Matt back and forth. The man could not stay still to save his life.

Danny came in for a second sweep too, getting a scowl out of Matt at first but Danny faked looking to with the glowy fist and went in for a surprise tickle attack.

Soon there was laughter again and while Matt did knock Danny in the side of the head, a smile stayed on his face the whole time Danny checked him. At the end of it, Jessica noticed he was a bit bigger again, older.

“Well it still looks like a learning spell, it might wear off quickly? Like a week or so? But really the best way to deal with these things is to complete them. I think we still have to do it, it affects him but we are the ones who have to learn for it to finish. I'm pretty sure about that part. WE could start with why he changes ages… or I don’t know? Get Strange to help.”

Matt checked out of the conversation at some point was very interested in Frank’s Jacket messing with the pockets and rubbing at the material. It reminded Jess of that one time she fell asleep on Murdock’s bed only to find her hair had been braided and Matt was running his hand on the fringe of her shirt over and over. It was a cute moment she would take to her grave.

“It just seems to be so random” Claire reiterated Danny’s earlier comment and everyone returned similar comments of confusion for a moment while Jessica sat down in her chair- successfully reclaimed, for a good think.

No this made sense she realized. The Spell wasn’t really random, it just worked with how Matt was feeling. All those strange times were when he felt smaller than he was, it made sense. 

Like the time blood had been sprayed on his face last week. He had been so upset, quiet and holding himself so tight even Jessica had felt the need to speak quiet as she coaxed him home. Even tucked him into bed that night. He was fine the next day but she knew something was…different. Plus every other time he seemed to just get strange. 

“I think…I think I understand what is happening.” It took a while to explain but it seemed to fit for everyone. 

“So he ages down to how he feels at the moment?”, Danny seemed a little skeptical still.

Foggy took a break from trying to coax Matt to cuddle with him and not Frank turned towards the group, “No that makes sense. Especially considering his past. So like with the blood thing Jessica mentioned last week? It was probably attached to a memory of when his Dad died when he was a kid. So he goes back to that age he was triggered to?”

“Okay so I can understand the medical stuff being blinded as a kid is traumatic but what about when you two were fighting this morning? How does that fit in?”, Claire was taking a sip of the tequila bottle that Jessica rescued (aka stole) and passed it towards Frank and a little too close to Murdock who grabbed for it.

“Hey hey hey, What do you think you're doing?”, Foggy the ever responsible one managed to get a better grip and grab it from Matt.

“I wanted a drink. It's not like I have anything better to do.” Oooo an angry Matt is never a good thing, grumpy might be fun for saltmate talks but tip him over to mad…

A deep breath from Nelson, he seemed to be taking a lot of those tonight, “Why you angry bud?”

“You mean besides this? I don’t know. Maybe the fact you all have been talking like I’m not here?”

It would have come off more terrifying if he didn’t have watery eyes.

Foggy just reached for Matt’s hands only to be pushed away, “Matty? Hey, I’m sorry your right. I didn’t mean it- I don’t think any of meant to do that. I was trying to make it easier by taking care of it and I stepped over the line. I’ll do better okay?”

Matt bumps Nelson’s hand and holds on in answers. Jessica sneaks a picture and sends it to the group chat. It was damn cute.

Frank gave a pat to Matt’s head when Matt thumped it back on Frank’s chest, “I think it is time to hit the hay. Regroup in the morning.”

With that Claire went home for a few more hours sleep, and Danny decided to meditate while the others found their usually sleepover spots. 

Before Jessica went to bed she saw Luck had texted to the group chat, “WTF?!”.


	2. All this of a feelings talk?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are feelings, Matt would rather wait it out but they can't.

The next morning Matt was apparently young college-age if Foggy’s estimation could be trusted. Jessica woke up to him pushing a cup of coffee towards her head with the tips of his fingers. He might have been older but the guy was still crouched holding his knees tight. He was close to aging down again.

She sat up from her space on the floor she claimed last night picking the cup off the floor. There was a crick in her back, she hated sleeping on the floor but Frank won the roshambo. The ass was in the kitchen smiling over his mug as she stretched poping her back.

“Stop smiling make us breakfast!”

“It afternoon Jess”, there he goes rolling his eyes again. She was going to have to dye his vest pink or something.

“Are we going to have to have the ‘It is called Break Fast for a reason?’ argument again?”, Nelson came out in pinstriped PJs.

“No, because I am now making breakfast!”, Danny pulled out a spatula only to have it pulled from his grip.

“Yeah, no kid. I am not eating rabbit food for breakfast- can you even cook?”, Frank made great breakfast food. 

They all tucked in, settling in the living room again and they soon were back to the topic at hand.

“So I’m guessing the spell isn’t reversing still huh?”, Frank with the stunning update! Jess really needed a second cup of coffee. Murdock appeared with a fresh cup.

“I swear Murdock, it is strange that you just know.” He just shrugged and went to sit down on the floor.

“I hate to say it but if we are to ‘learn’ about this spell maybe we should do something?”, Jessica usually liked Frank's can-do-it attitude but fuck it was too early.

“Might I suggest feelings talks?”, Matt knocked Foggy’s knee before resettling his head on Nelson’s knees.

“No, you may not. My quota is filled for at least a week.”

Nelson looked like he was looking for the lord’s strength, before patting the top of Murdock’s head.

“Okay, Last resort. Any other ideas?”

“Maybe we could run some experiments?” Frank back at it again with practicality!

“Ooo! I like the sound of science!”, Jessica did a double-take.

“I thought you were all Mr.chi and mystical crap?”

Matt looked too smug, “You watched them didn’t you! I knew you would like it!”

Danny looked like he was just too excited to really be ashamed, “Yes you were right, Bill Nye the science guy is a show I enjoy… But now- can we get back to science!”

“So what are you suggesting exactly?”, Jessica didn’t always appreciate Foggy’s protective voice but with Matt all curled up still-she would allow it. 

“It might be helpful to see what does and doesn’t cause a change, see if we can get more information there.”

Matt huffed, “You guys have terrible ideas.”

Jessica hated that this was their best idea, “Okay but are we really going to just trigger him with traumatic shit?”

Nelson tilted his head watching point at Jess, “What she said!”

Danny collapsed laughing like the true child he was and Matt joined him.

Both Nelson and Jessica rolled there eyes as Nelson said, “Yeah that is a good point. Maybe we can try I don't know- small things? And work up to what you can handle?” Good Job Nelson, include Matt into conversations about him. Give him agency on his own shit!

Murdock let out a whine, “Foggy why can’t we just wait it out? I have no wish to be younger than I am now. How long could this really last?”

Danny estimated about two weeks at most, “Yeah Bud, with our caseload? We have to be in court next week for two days at least. I don’t think the Judge will understand if you switch not to mention will not help Ms. William's case.”

Matt grumbled some more, “Fine. What should we do first?”

“oof. Well, bud apparently we started already. You are ummm… 15?”

Matt banged his head on Nelson’s knees a couple of times, “Fuck.”

Nelson laid a heavy hand on Matt’s head again, “Yeah…”

It took them a while but they eventually came up with a few tests and they didn’t have a great effect on Matt’s mood.

The first one was just splashing water on Matt’s face. Jessica’s idea ‘watered down’ because splashing blood was way too high on the list and it was just the first one. Matt looked like a drowned cat and was as grumpy as one at the end of it.

The second test was baby talk, which Frank was happy to provide. Jessica wasn’t sure how much of it was because he was a bastard or if he wanted to hold a little Matt again. They tried to get him to sit on the couch next to Frank and Foggy seeing as they were able to hold him last night. Matt suffered through it but drew the line at sitting in one of their laps. 

It was when Foggy tried a third that Matt had enough.

“Okay don’t hate me Matty, but what about the things in the chest? You know your dad’s stuff or that stuff-”

“No. Foggy just no.” And Matt was up, done and pacing. Oh and smaller. Well, at least something worked.

“Okay, I get it is a not a great idea but man you are what 13 now? This is something that worked, maybe we should see where it goes? Was it your dad’s stuff or-”

Matt was out the door, Nelson called out for him but Jessica just grabbed her coat and pushed Nelson back inside, “I got this ‘Mr.Mom’. We are going to walk off some steam and be back later.”

She walks behind him for a block but there were too many people watching and getting concerned. She wasn’t sure what they thought but she was not dealing with the cops being called on their suspicious behavior.

“Come on Matt, wait up!”, She was getting him back for making her jog. 

They walked for a few blocks until he wasn’t walking as fast and was breathing normally.

“So what’s up?”, All Jessica got was a shrug and Matt made a quick turn towards a bar. The Lawyer’s favorite, Josie’s.

Jessica quickly grabbed the back of Matt’s shirt dragging him away from the door, “Yeah nope. You might not BE a kid but I’m not going to jail for child endangerment so you can day drink.”

Matt takes it better than she thought he would, after shrugging her off he huffs with laughter and starts down the street again. Thankfully there are no more attempts at bars but he does keep walking. After a few minutes, Matt isn’t walking a straight path anymore, trips over a curb and bumps into her so many times she finally rolls her eyes and puts her arm around his shoulders.

“This okay?” It wasn’t a hug.

“Yeah…” If he leaned into her touch and she tightened her grip, no one but them could tell.

Then end up turning back after another block and once they get home Matt goes straight for a floorboard in the kitchen pulling out a fancy bottle of tequila. 

“What the hell Murdock? Why are you hiding alcohol?”

“I have an alcoholic who consistently crashes at my place and your ass keeps stealing my good shit.”

“Uhhh-Matthew? You are like 12- literally. No.”

Matt looked so sad that Jessica couldn’t help it, “Fuck off Nelson, he was cleared.”

She got a smile for that and shit they better get back to normal saltmate shit soon. 

Nelson looked to Frank for support, but all he got was “Don’t know what to tell you? I could check his I.D if you want, but we know he is legal man.”

By that time Matt had already taken a couple of shots and Danny was asking for some too.

“Promise you won’t give it to Jess?”

“What the hell Murdock?”

He shrugged, “There is still your shit vodka in the cabinet.”

Nelson raised his arms up in frustration before holding his arm out, “I guess we are all day drinking then.”

There was a break for drinking and take out was ordered it wasn’t until early evening when they started to attack the problem again.

After spitting some ideas around Nelson asked what Matt thought.

He gave a deep breath, “ I don’t like this.”

Nelson pulled Matt into his side from the other side of the couch, “ Yeah we can see that Bud.”

“I hate to tell you but it looks like we have two options now. One we keep figuring this out the old fashion way. Two we get Dr.Strange over to give us a hint if not the solution. The spell is on you, so it is your decision.”

Matt tucked his head into Nelson’s side moaning, “These are terrible options. Feelings talk or Dr shithead looking through my brain?”

Nelson tried to hold in his laughter but his belly was shaking so hard from him keeping it contained that it made no difference, “Okay so we pick the one that least worse then?”

“I Just want it over with”, and with that he lifted his legs up to tuck against his chest. Matt was definitely smaller again, maybe nine?

“Yeah, I know”, If the kid got any younger Frank was gonna pounce in she could see it in his eyes.

“Fucking call Strange…”

Even though Nelson was pulling out his phone he asked, “Really bud you want him over a feelings talk?! Oh, Matty.” If Jess didn’t agree with Matt’s opinion of feelings talks she would be laughing with Nelson too.

“...Does that mean we have to have feelings talk now?” Now everyone was laughing.

The phone was ringing, “Eh probably sooner than you want but not right away- Hi I am trying to reach Dr. Strange?”

They only had to wait a few minutes before Strange arrived in his usual flair and arrogance filled the air. Matt once remarked he understood being curious, snoopy even. He might not like it but it was the fact it all felt so sterile- maybe because he was a doctor? She felt it now.

“I heard you are going to let me examine you, Murdock!”, Matt was already up and over the back of the couch.

“I change my mind, bye!”

Frank caught him and picked him up, Matt didn’t want to be held but he settled when he realized Frank was not going to hand him over to Strange at least. 

“Matty...He came all this way. We will stop if you sure but I think you should try.”

Matt is already back to his clinging to the delight of Frank, “We go slow?”

Nelson reached his hand out to rub Matt’s back, “Yeah, slow.”

Strange didn’t seem to upset about the pace and he laid out the process in a clinical fashion.

Unlike Danny Strange doesn’t just look at the magical energy, he looks at the mind and the exact connections the magic is hitting in the body, mental space, and in some cases soul.

“I am pretty sure already this is just a case of connections based on mental and body. I'll start by just taking a lot at your basic structures and then we will”, he cleared his throat “slowly, go through connections.”

Strange took some time looking at the basic structures of soul, which thankfully didn’t require any touch, it was pretty much looking at auras. When it came to the body, apparently he wanted to add a regular check-up to the list. Matt looked fit to burst into tears but clenched his jaw a bared the third round of checks. Strange for all his clinical shit, was good about warning Matt before he touched him and asking permission consistently. 

“Okay, all done! I know exams aren’t fun, would you like to take a break?”

Matt did not want a break, even if everyone thought maybe he needed one. Instead, he was grumpy and pouting in Nelson’s Lap, having been stolen from Frank after the exam. He shook his head settling in against Nelson holding the arm Nelson had across Matt’s waist. 

Strange clapped then rubbed his hand together in glee, “Then here we start in the mind!”

Strange shut his eyes only to have open in a second utterly confused. 

Danny gave a sigh, “Matt put the stupid shields down.”

Strange still confused, “When did you learn to do shielding?”

Matt stuck his tongue out before explaining, “It is apart of training? It isn’t like it hard.”

Strange huffed, “It is in fact very hard and can take several years for many people.”

Honestly, Jessica didn’t have it in her to be surprised, of course, Matt could shield his mind. I guess when you were trained for a mystical ninja war you gotta learn.

They started again, Strange resettled eyes closed, Matt even seemed bored. Jessica had time to wonder what were the little red dots were coming from Strange’s face just before Strange all but collapsed.

“Fuck!”, Strange was clutching his head.

“You gotta go slow”, Matt was quite and smaller, tucked into Nelson’s side, attention focused on Nelson’s sleave.

Strange waved everyone off, “I see what you mean. Is that normal for you? It is, huh? Not part of a shield or something?”

Matt hid his face shrugging. 

Foggy, on the other hand, was not deterred, “Wait, mind catching the rest of us up?”

Strange looked at everyone’s confusion, “He has never explained it?”

Apparently Murdock with all the feelings talk never made it to yeah the world on fire? It feels like it is on fire. Dr. Strange with Matt’s shrugged permission explained that he had been so overwhelmed by the sheer amount of environmental feedback Matt was processing through. All his senses were so sensitive that his brain couldn’t handle it even though Matt was doing all the processing for him- Strange was just taking a peak. The only people he had seen with such processing was people with sensory issues.

“Matt have you ever had any issues sleeping? Or being overwhelmed due to sensory issues?” Upon no quick reply, “It might be helpful to look up sensory processing disorder, the strategies they use to cope might be helpful.”

Matt just shrugged playing with buttons on Nelson’s shirt, “Stick trained me to deal with it. It's good now.”

Strange nodded, “Yeah, but it also can be better- especially if you have bad days.”

Nelson thought about it, “So that asshole kept you sane, huh?”

Matt nodded still playing with the buttons, “Are we done yet?”

Jessica watched as Strange lost some of his clinical feel, lowering himself to Matt’s level, “I’m afraid not yet Matthew. I know it is stressful, we can take breaks or stop but I would like to help break this spell. Would it be alright if I still help?”

“Slow.”

Strange smiles, “Yes I think slow would be a good idea.”

Strange goes over the basic structure- slow enough this time it isn’t too much of an issue. Then Strange focuses on the connection between the body and the mind. Just a little nose bleed.

Strange gratefully took advantage of the well-stocked medkits. He held gaze to his nose while he explained the situation.

“I don’t have much to add right now. The spell is to educate those around the one who is affected, about the one who is affected. This one is tied to Matthew’s mental state. Some of the connections have been broken already. However, there are still connections. They won’t just break if I explain how they are connected, rather just attach to a new understanding. The best way I can help is to point you in the right direction.”

Matt groaned, “So you're saying we went through all of this to have more feeling talks?”

Strange’s brows came together, “Feelings talks?”

Frank provided a simple explanation, “Kid’s allergic to feelings so Nelson and him have dedicated talks about it.”

Jessica executed a perfect eye-roll because be honest Frank everyone but Nelson and Danny was allergic to feelings. She agreed with Murdock, if the world was perfect there would be one day a year for feelings talks and that should be it.

“Out of curiosity, why do you refer to her as ‘saltmate’ in your head?”

WAIT- “Murdock? Do you call me saltmate in your head?!” She felt like the emoji of heart eyes. She would be sick about it later. It also had the effect of watching Murdock grow a bit, maybe 12?

“Fuck, of course, we are saltmates Jess!” 

She was totally giving him the next scarf she knitted.

Danny was excited for a different reason, “ooh! CLUE! You got older for saltmate shit”

Strange just kinda shrugged and whispered, “Relationships yeah that is a good start.”

“The great Ass wizard has spoken. What do we know about Matt and relationships?”, Jessica got the ball rolling. There was no way to spare Matt from feelings now.

Danny started off, “Well Matt you do have a lot of Lady and Gentleman friends.”

Jessica rolled her eyes, “Yes we know- he is a ‘self-proclaimed slut’. What else?”

Matt just nodded along happy with the description and Jessica gave it a little sigh. The quicker Matt got fixed the quicker they could reestablish saltmate banter.

“So Matty sucks at relationships?”, oh Danny baby no. Now Matt was pouting.

Nelson stepped in, “I wouldn’t say he sucks, Matt does a lot to make relationships romantic and friendship work.”

“Thank you Fogs”

“Just the truth Bud. I will say you sacrifice a lot in relationships. They aren’t always equal.” Now it was Matt’s turn to look confused.

“What you mean?”

“Well let's see, you do all the work, sometimes to the point of exhaustion. Do I need to bring up El?”

“Foggy…”

Frank had an evil grin, “Red, I think he might need to explain more…”

Danny bumped Frank, “Stop teasing.”

Foggy sighed, everyone was getting a little tired at this point.

“Shorten version? Matt, bud, you are easily influenced to do what others want. Except on like maybe killing.” And Matt was back to nine again.

“Looks like we are on the right track?”, Jessica looked over to Strange.

She received only the answer of, “It is a connection, but there are more.”

Fuck this was going to be another long night.

They talked more about the relationships in Matt’s life. It covered a lot of shit. Mostly that he had very few relationships, trust issues and the fact that besides the Nelson brood they were Matt’s people. Jessica both hated it and was happy that she wasn’t the only one who needed a found family.

Frank growled after the comment’ family’, Fuck Frank deal.

“Look, we need a hint Strange. Red has been switching so quickly it has to hurt if not be fucking him up.” Oh! Okay, Frank didn’t need to get Fucked, he was just being protective.

Strange looked like he pitied them. Okay, so they were close but have been for a while. 

“You have cut several connections. I would focus more on why Matt reacts to relationships in these ways.”

Foggy pulled at Matt little blanket nest that had been slowly perfected over the last hour, “You know it isn’t a feeling talk if you don’t talk.”

A frustrated baby Murdock appeared, “What do you wanna know?”

“There we go, buddy! How about we start why you do everything and more for people?”

“I don’t know, you all think it is strange but I just want to, gotta. It is supposed to be what you do?”

“Okay, what would happen if you didn’t do those things? Let's say you do just a little but you still love them?”

“Foggy it is a stupid question. Can we stop?”

“Come on buddy, work with me.” Matt looked like he had half a mind to crawl over to Frank for that shit but settled to Frank’s dismay. 

“If...If I didn’t then it would feel bad. Like wasn’t good enough.”

Foggy looked like he had an epiphany, eyes widening before he asked quietly, “Matty do you think if you aren't good enough we’ll leave?”

Strange’s head turned towards them with a smile, “Very close now…”

Foggy took a deep breath, “You all are going to hate this, but we are going to all have a feelings talk now. the topic is how you feel about Murdock. Danny, you start us off while those two dumbasses think of what they will say”

Danny, of course, was excited to share! 

“Matt! Best Ninja Pal ever! We are gonna be life long friends forever! I love when we fight because I always learn so much and it is never boring and I love you, man!”, Danny attacked him in a hug that Matt tolerated well.

Frank was next, and while he refused to say his speech at a normal audible level Matt seemed to moved enough to touch his hand to where Frank’s rested on the back of the couch. 

By the time it got to Jessica’s turn she had though of exactly zero shit.

“Look Murdock I hate these things too, but like your my family too. Kinda my only family… so yeah. I...fuck it-I love yah too. Your turn Nelson.”

Nelson, of course, was the best of all waxing poetry that one. “Now I will tell you all of that and more whenever you need a reminder but I really want you to remember is We- Especially me- am not leaving you because we love you and will take you any way you can give us-even not perfect days.” 

Strange clapped his hands together, “Wonderful! You broke the last connection. It should dissipate on its own tonight. Call me tomorrow if you are still having issues, good evening!” He didn’t even leave by the door like a normal person, instead, he vanished in a furry of light.

They passed out at Matt’s again and no one really spoke of the incident but it wasn’t forgotten.

Nelson called her later that week to talk about sensory objects. They debated over what they should just leave in Matt’s house and what should be added to the next gift-giving occasion.

Frank started calling when he would miss ‘family events’ (his words not hers) and no one questioned Frank pulling a sleepy Matt against Frank’s chest or lap. Or how when Matt got sick he would camp out at the apartment-even it Matt said it was just a tension headache. Supplying him with cold packs, heating pads, ear protectors and everything people recommended to help through sensory overload.

Danny didn’t change much, but now he would ask how Matt was feeling ‘sensory wise’, if he wouldn’t mind a hug or if a hug would help- deep pressure and all.

The only mention she heard from Matt was when he debated who had the worse villain.

“So do I get the worse Villian now?”

“What?”

“Magic man last month. I think I win with him because he made you guys suffer just as much.”

“I am rolling my eyes at you, Murdock.”

“Cone on Jess- We all had to do feelings talks!”

She burst out laughing.

“I don’t know man. I gotta think about it”

Honestly, she wouldn’t really know if it had really happened except for that one photo she saved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for this journey of my longes fic yet- I still can't believe it! Hope you liked it!
> 
> If you ever wanna talk, hit me up here, Tumblr or discord. Thanks Loves!

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all this is the longest one I have written. It really got away from me- I planned to finish it in two days and it took two weeks of a very tired me doing this lol. I hope you enjoyed, please feel free to talk here, Tumblr, or on discord. Love ya'll!


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